Wisdom From the Good Doctor...

Dr. Seuss has always been big in our house...

Helloooo my fellow traveler...  How I have missed all of my fellow Pilgrims. Let's get the big stuff out of the way. I'm here, my health is good, my Beauties are good; Ian graduated from 6th grade, Jeff is still the love of my life.  I have been too busy and that has kept me away from all of you. I thought this post would be a tad different... Hope it resonates. xo

I wasn't a Dr. Seuss fan as a child... It just wasn't the books of my childhood.  My fist real exposure to the Seuss was sitting on the floor of a Barnes and Noble with Jeff in California, four months after we started dating. We had flown out the day after Christmas and I was meeting (for the first time) the entire Ferguson family. We had gone into the Barnes and Noble to pick up books as Christmas gifts for his baby niece (now a lawyer) and nephew (who is working on becoming fluent in Japanese--for funzies!). Want to learn about your new boyfriend ladies?, go to the children's section of a bookstore. Jeff was insistent that the children were each getting a selection of Dr. Seuss books. So there we sat and Jeff read the stories that I had missed from my childhood. I on the other hand pulled out my favorite childhood book; "The Giving Tree".

Jeff of course had never read it--all the other Shel Silverstein books; but not that one. So there we sat; as I began to read my book; you guessed it, I began to ugly cry. Bad blue-eye liner ran down my face. Oh Lord, save us from the early 90's.

Both authors have remained integral parts of our married life. Dr. Seuss is quoted as much as world figures, saints and the lessons of the Giving Tree are evident in my marriage; so much so that Jeff proposed to me by reading me the Giving Tree before he presented me with my "sparkle" or engagement ring.

We have had so many Seuss books to call favorites, maybe because we read them so many times to the children. Or maybe just because the message is so clear. One of the most common graduation gifts is Dr. Seuss'; "Oh the Places you will Go" and it certainly holds up in my top 10 list. I realized that I have needed to pull many of the theme and quotes lately. We use the words from the book as mini-mantras in our home. The quotes seem to encapsulate where I find myself today.

This quote has helped me as I touched my toe back into the working world:

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...” ― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

I do have brains in my head and I do have very cute shoes, which has made it ever so easy to tip-toe back into the working world.  In returning to the working world; I didn't realizes that having children has made me more confident then I ever realized. I think motherhood has made me at my core, critically aware of my strengths and weakness. You develop a real understanding of what you are--perhaps we all become titanium. I know who I am; I know what I need, I know where I want to go...

I also have learned when to identify my non-negotiables. I know for example, I can't sew a costume, but I'm amazing at ordering through Amazon.  I can cook an amazing, dinner but sometimes take-out is a better choice. Prioritize. Strengths and weaknesses. That has been such a gift that I didn't have about myself in my 20's... I now know my strengths, I now understand how to play to them. Returning to the workforce has also provided me with a better pair of glasses to see when things are not about me (at all), or when they are and how to know the difference.

Those skills have helped me work on my balance. But even with the best skills and paying good attention to my abilities and health and family; we can still stumble. Which is why it has occurred to me that recently I have stumbled into a slump.

"When you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.” 

“You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know. You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go. So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left.” ― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

While I have been working on my balancing and foot work, it has taken me away from all of you.

Balance, it often seems is the hardest skill to master...

The beauty and the difficult aspect of balance is it always changes. What works this week; may not the next. I have found that it is something that I constantly need to work on and rework.

I have also challenged myself to stop looking at the quantity of my work and take a better look at the quality of what I give of myself and look for in others. I for some reason have not recognized that everything I touch, every part of me is important. I use that trusty red pen to provide a failing grade on myself, because I don't value my contributions. I'm not a brain surgeon, a pilot, lawyer, or chemist... yet I look at these individuals and question my worth. That, what I contribute in the world isn't enough. And it is with that negativity about myself that I look to an amazing young woman and Saint/Doctor of the church St. Theresa the Little Flower

"When one loves, one does not calculate.” ― Thérèse de Lisieux

And there it is...      I'm calculating,     I'm questioning.      I'm fighting with myself.

I'm slumping because I haven't let my faith drive me. I'm once again, trying to wrestle for a false sense of control. For an understanding of this world that is fruitless. I have lost my vision to see that I need to be focusing on a deepening of my prayer life, a greater union with the Divine.

In an effort for that connection, I found the medicine that I need. I have been attending daily mass. For me the connection to the Divine is strengthened in the mass. In the 30 minutes daily where I meet Christ in his most human and Divine form. It is through that gift that I have shaken off the slump and met myself.

And will you succeed?

Yes! You will, indeed!

(98 and 3/4 percent guaranteed.)” 

KID, YOU'LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!

So...

be your name Buxbaum or Bixby or Bray

or Mordecai Ali Van Allen O'Shea,

you're off to Great Places!

Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So...get on your way!” ― Dr. SeussOh, The Places You'll Go!

May you find the Divine in your journey and stay away from the hidden slumps of this world.

Your mountain is waiting...

The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you.

Kathryn

PilgrimageGal

Photo credit: PilgrimageGal

This is the 4th anniversary of my first blog post.  On this day especially, I want to thank you for walking with me.

Sharing My Journey...

I love that I have met so many of you through this journey. Our Pilgrimage, our truth, our complimentary stories that overlap and create a quilt of love. Your square in that quilt warms my soul on the darkest days and wraps me in grace each and every moment.  I never question how the best loves in my world just fall into my life.  It always feels the same, as if I have known your soul for eternity.

You became part of my journey, because the Divine created a special space that belongs to you. You each hold the job of teacher, friend, guide and shepherd. Each of you show me a unique face of the Divine, a deeper connection to love.  I never question each and every gift, I just recognize that God has a plan and I'm trying to be open to this journey that is mine and love with open arms.

Which always leads me back to words on this page.

I'm often asked, how long does it take for me to write a post. That my Lovies is a difficult question to answer. Often it's quick, I sit down and the ideas pour out of me, I feel the Spirit is whispering in my ear and moving me to share my truth. Other times it is nearly impossible. The words won't come and I feel as if I have nothing to share. That I'm empty and I'm drowning in silence and agitation. I have found a pattern when these times have occurred, and it has occurred in the last month. I have found it difficult to share my inner life.

I have held back my truth, I attempt to sugar coat or make my life seem something it is not.

That has been the struggle of the last month. I have attempted to phone it in... and you have called me on my foolishness. I love how you know me so well you can feel the change in my spirit and have asked for clarification and just checked-in. That is accountability. We are called to be accountable to each other and to be open and honest as people who walk in the light.

The real truth is my health at this moment stinks. I have been in the doctor's office more than I like. Blood tests, and heart scans, the foolishness of chronic disease. I honestly just feel sick. When I'm sick, the cocktail of medications that I have makes me tired and edgy and well just not me!

A quick recap on my health is in order here: I have benefited from a therapy that has supported me for a few years. Sadly, the blocking mechanism is no longer preventing inflammation. My lungs are paying the price and I'm in constant thoracic pain. I have been in denial for three months, claiming the hot summer, the busy schedule and many other excuses, that take the gaze away from the truth. I'm regressing and I don't know what my medical team can offer.

To be honest it has been a difficult burden, I feel a little cheated. I have been spiritually obedient, I moved away from my beautiful East coast life, open and willing to forge a new one here. Only to find the road here much more difficult than the one I left. I have made some dear and lovely friends, but my health is tricky, my family and longtime friends are all back East. I have little support here and my husband travels constantly.

Yet in my heart, I don't want to go back.

I love that my husband loves his job, my Beauties are blossoming into beautiful tweens.  I love the weather, I love the lifestyle, and I love our faith community. This is my home and I'm grateful. The best way to describe my emotions is that I feel like the second semester of freshman year in college.  You love the school, but you are homesick for the familiar, you want things to be just a tad easier.

Whenever my health falters, I want that easy life. I feel entitled. But why? I honestly have everything I need. My health while painful, is stable. I'm not going to be hospitalized or die from this set back. Is the quality of my daily life greatly diminished? Yes. I don't have a moment in my day that is not filled with severe pain. Do I have the right to be angry? Of course.

But at the end of this pity party for one, who benefits from my frustration and despair?

The answer is clear, no one does.

I have a choice.

Will I look into my dark place and find what really is causing my disappointments? And honestly add voice to these thoughts? The answer is, yes. I will own my feelings and say...

I'm tired of suffering. I'm tired of not getting God's attention to make my life just a little bit easier. Not being willing to say, Why me? Why isn't my life cake, filled with rainbows and unicorns?  I look at others who seem to have a much easier journey. And I'm ANGRY!

BUT...

What is crystal clear is that my anger and despair will change nothing. Not a thing! What I have learned is that despair is a cancer. When given space, it overpowers you, until you are gone and all that is left is a shell.

I'm choosing to find joy. Because joy is infectious (in a good way), it is affirming, it is well, joyous.

My journey's horizon will widen because of this set back. I will meet more doctors, and in all of this suffering, I will meet more special people like you, who are on this path and part of the beautiful quilt that God has chosen for me.

That is all the medicine I need to find the hope and faith I need to continue on this Pilgrimage.

So if this week finds you filled with less hope and more sadness: do something to expand the joy in your circle.  This week, I'm tasking each one of you to send five messages of hope. It can be to anyone be it a stranger or the people you love. It can be an email or a postcard or a phone call, maybe you pay it forward with a nice note to someone you see everyday. Or maybe some cookies or a dinner for someone needing a lift.

Five messages of hope. Just think if we all did that this week. Shared a little bit of hope--our world would be incredibly more joyful.

So there you have it.  My life is bumpy right now, really bumpy...

But I need to run, we are taking dinner to two amazing families that need a little food joy from the Ferguson kitchen. One had knee surgery and the other had a baby... We are making pasta bolognese. My whole house smells like Italy! It's Monday and we are spreading a lot of love in Santa Barbara!

Hope you find time to spread some love and joy this week as well.

Peace be with you,

  Kathryn

  PilgrimageGal

T

hank you for walking with me this week and always. I do use social media to keep in touch. You are welcome to find me on

Facebook

,

Instagram

or comment below. I personally answer all my correspondence...and I'm always glad to meet another traveler. xo

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Pixabay

Happy 3rd Birthday Pilgrimage Gal...

I started my little blog on June 1, 2012. I then spent days looking at a blank screen wondering what to say.

Pilgrimage Gal has evolved in three years. I have grown in confidence, witnessing my health dramatically improve and along the way I found my voice. This space began with the support of my Jeffrey and my dear friend Jessica; both encouraging me to share my truth. What began as a sick and frightened women's journal, changed into a place to find hope, courage and little faith. Back in the beginning, I wasn't scared of sharing my truth, I was scared of

dying

.  In my heart, I felt death chasing me and it was terrifying. The blog became a place to share the fear that filled my heart in the darkness of night.  The worries that didn't go away when I woke. I needed my Beauties to know their mom. So as adults they would have my truth of their childhood. The blog would allow them to see in my own words that I loved them with everything that I had. That I fought everyday for their Dad and them.

When I left this world, they would still hear my voice.

A record for the Beauties of what my life, our life was all about.

Total truth.

I never honestly expected to be here to celebrate this blog turning 3. While I was making peace with my death, the Divine was creating my way to life. Each doctor at every turn was a tiny grain of sand to wellness. You never see the beach when you are focused on individual grains of sand, you can't find the ocean--you can only see the grains.

No one has had access to better doctors. No one. I have fought, challenged, cajoled, and laid out a few. I have listened, cried and screamed when I needed to, I did what I was told, and I never stopped fighting. Never given up. Have I had dark moments? Good Lord, yes.  I looked at my Jeffrey and my Beauties and knew NO ONE would ever love them the way I do. No one possibly could. They are as much part of my soul as I am theirs.

I have meet brilliant minds, doctors who love me more than they should. I have given too many of them sleepless nights. My husband who never once has said it's too much. A doctor, Harvard, who stood next to my hospital bed in the darkest moments and who wound't give up on his most unique patient.  I know no person on earth that has more loving friends, soul sisters, more perfect Beauties and my mother who drops everything to support me.

My riches are too vast to imagine. I may never win the power-ball, but I have won more than my share of grace and love.

So as I step back and give thanks for medical interventions that keep me stable. Teachers who love my children as their own, friends no matter my geography that have my back, a husband that loves all of me, every broken part and every super power.

I know one thing that is true, that none of this is possible without my faith. A faith that humbles me. That in all of my abundance, I have been able to walk with LOVE. My greatest gift in all of this is faith that is built on love.  I have a faith that never falters. That faith has enabled me to see love hidden, love flourishing, and how to find it, keep it and make it grow.

It's all of these gifts that make Pilgrimage Gal my safe place as I hope it is yours too. The Divine gave me the love of all of you. My Pilgrims near and far. Thanks to technology, I have virtual tea dates around the globe. Someday the Divine will connect all of us, in London and in Finland and too many of you to mention in Canada and the States. Each and every one of you take a moment out of your busy daily life to walk with me. To share your truth, to give me insight in your life. You share your Beauties, your dreams, your faith and struggles. Thank you, for walking with me; sharing your exquisite every day moments. My life is richer with your love.

Jeffrey surprised me with a huge Pilgrimage Gal birthday cake, chocolate with salted caramel, no words for the yummiest cake ever. The cake was from the talented cafe and my newest Santa Barbara friend Gillian of

Lilac Patisserie

. I washed the cake down with a toast and small sip of champagne (I'm on crummy antibiotics) toasting each and everyone of you. Without you I would just be some lonely girl jotting musings in her diary.

Your loves, your likes, your comments, your shares, and your amens have made me productive, open, more honest and the best version of myself.

I'm beyond humbled by my life and look forward to celebrating all of our joys, celebrations and struggles for years to come.

Cheers, to you all! To Jess and Jeffrey, I love you both with all that I have, thank you for encouraging me in the darkness. You both give me more than I ever give you!

Peace be with you all.

The Divine in me bows to the Divine in each and everyone of you.

Happy Birthday from the Pilgrimage Gal and our journey continues.

xo,

Kathryn

Photo Credit: Mr. Pilgrimage Gal

PilgrimageGal as Speaker and a Green Sofa...

Happy to get rid of the green sofa...

Many years ago, I twisted Jeffrey's arm and bought a stupid expensive green sofa. It was beautiful, and went perfectly in our great room. I LOVED this sofa. But, often as a mother I have these

House Beautiful

moments and forget two important things. First, we are not independently wealthy, nope my husband provides for us beautifully as a dedicated federal employee, where he daily answers the call to public service. More importantly we have wolverines that double as our children. So this sofa has seen nearly every kind of my Beauties' bodily fluids.

More significantly, it was the sofa that I lived on for 5 years. I took meals, slept, watched the Beauties play and grow, watched countless movies and too many cheesy T.V. shows to count. It is where I started this blog. It all started with me typing, "The pilgrimage of the green couch: one gal's journey of faith, health and life, all from her very own sofa."

But, over time I realized that it had become my sick bed and it was draining my spirit. So in preparation for Norah's First Communion, I wore Jeff down, explaining we needed a new sofa. The old sofa had bad karma, gu-gu or whatever you want to call a dysfunctional inanimate relationship. I was so over that sofa, I stopped sitting on it!

We were not able to get the sofa before the Communion, which worked out for the best, but two weeks later we did. We scored a practical Ikea sofa, keyword practical.  In just a couple of weeks, we already have paint, Sharpie and popsicle stains on this brand new sofa. But I'm fine, because I can buy a new slipcover for $100 for special occasions. You really can't keep the children from being children and I'm so fine with that...

Now I know many of you are wondering how the sofa goes with the Pilgrimage! In some ways, I'm like the sick man who was lowered into the house to see Jesus (Mark 2:4). That sofa was my bed and my blankee, I wasn't moving and growing like I needed with that sofa. So no surprise, that as I prepared to remove this albatross from my home, new opportunities have emerged.

This past Saturday, in a hot church basement, over 30 women joined me for my first official PilgrimageGal talk and reflection on creating: "Exquisite Everyday Moments of Faith." The talk was filled with a group of inspiring women aged 26-93. The Spirit was present and moving in this diverse and incredibly faith filled group of women. I learned more from them, their richness, their depth, their openness to share their truth. Talk about empowering and moving! We were laughing, crying and sharing in a way that only happens when you recognize what Matthew 18:20 reminds us;

"For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

I loved this day, it was an opportunity to hear and see the Divine moving in women that I have known for years and some I met for the first time. That is why this journey inspires me daily. I grow, change and develop a deeper appreciation for the gifts of daily life. The 30 women who joined me were kind enough to let me share my truth, to listen and provide insights. I'm forever humbled by the participation and love.

So just as I got rid of the old sofa and welcomed in the new. I have removed another layer of myself and shared myself in a new format; that of public speaker...

And in doing this, I now have even more to do!

Onward...

xo

Kathryn

The Elephant in Every Room...

The Elephant in Every Room...

The Elephant in Every Room... How are you feeling and other lovely questions...

I have had a beautifully busy last few weeks. I have attended dinner parties, birthday parties, a fabulous sparkling water and wine club with the girls, and some fantastic chats on the green sofa. And I'm struck by a common thread... I'm losing my conversational edge... No, really, I don't know how to do social chit-chat.

On my red pen list of things I'm doing wrong: I'm struggling with how to handle well wishes... How crazy is that?  And I know my friends often struggle with the same... 

These days any social encounter, a quick stop at a store, or just being out and about, I'm treated like a celebrity. People are surprised to see me, so they flock to me to say hello, and I LOVE IT!  Nothing makes someone who has a chronic illness feel better than friends and loved ones who are happy to see you... It fills your soul with an extra energy boost. I'm seldom alone on these outings; and I seem to always have a beauty or two with me, and they smile and hold a hand, happy too, to have me out-and-about!

But inevitably the question comes, "How are you feeling?", and it's a hard-one to answer, because usually it has taken all my energy to be anywhere... For instance at Easter, so many friends gave me hugs, love and told me I looked great and asked, "How are things?" and I didn't know what to say. I either make a joke about my magical make-up skills that cover the dark bags under my eyes and horrible pale skin.  I used the make-up line, five or six times... Or I say "fine", which is a lie; or my gran-daddy answer "horrible", or I say "good-enough", because that is all I have. All of these answers seem wrong or lacking...

My Sunshine Girl always asks me in the most loving way, maybe it's because she is Sunshine...  She asks: "Is it a good day?", and I love that question, it's not about my body, or my mind, or my spirit, it's about all of me... And that works for some reason. Because it gives me more ways to answer. And my answers are more than just how my body is working... Sunshine doesn't even know she asks it that way, it's just how her spirit works, open and honest. It gives me the chance to say it's a perfect day, because my beauty just sang in the choir, or  it's a great day because the sun is out and it feels great on my skin. Or I got to the cake store and we are in the possession of some amazing ingredient... You see, I'm the first one to tell people when I have great news or I feel good...

Now if you are someone who has asked me, "How are you doing/feeling?", don't beat yourself up... I catch myself asking people all the time, to friends who are ill, have parents that are sick, and then I get in the car and kick myself, I know this is not an easy question with a quick answer. Or classic/favorite: ask a pointed question with kids standing around, done that more than a few times too... I'm the one who has the illness; the expert. Nice...

We just all want to fix what is broken, our hearts and minds act so differently... Our hearts won't tolerate the pain of a loved one, and we can't settle in our hearts suffering of any kind. To solve the problem, we allow our mind to act as the "fixer". How are you? What can I do?How can we fix the problem? Men hold doctorates in this. Men are hardwired to fix, that's why women get so frustrated; we want them to listen and feel... And we are all too aware, not everything can be fixed. 

There is nothing wrong about any of it... And sometimes it's fine to ask, when I'm alone... But some days you just want to give your chronic disease a holiday, and you from always being known as the sick girl.

Go back to my celebrity analogy for a second, you wouldn't go up to Meryl Streep if you saw her in a restaurant with her kids having a family meal to say, "Hi, I'm your biggest fan, can I have your autograph and talk about your theory on acting"... Listen, I'm not trying to say I'm a zillion time Oscar winner, or I'm better than anyone else... I'm just saying, sometimes Meryl wants to be Mom, wife, girlfriend, not Academy Award wining actress...

Does this make sense at all? Or do I sound like some crazy snob? That is not my point, and if that is your takeaway, I have completely failed in this post. It's just, I'm so happy to be out and about, I want to talk about you, your family, can we gossip about shoes, spring trends, or kids?  Normal stuff and give my chronic disease a day off... 

And to be honest, sometimes I worry that I have lost my cocktail party banter, that I can't talk about anything else...

But, I do understand, it's a double edge sword, because I/we/all chronically ill folks, don't want to be forgotten, and do want you to ask how we are... So it is a fine line... At times, I'm more worried about you, I don't want you to be disappointed when I tell you that my life is hard, and my pain is really bad, and I'm going to be in bed in an hour because I gave all my energy away... 

I do love a quick email that says, "give it to me, what is the latest", and I will speak my truth if you come over for tea, and we have an hour to visit. 

There is no magical answer.  And I know that it is more about me and how I react to the question, then the question itself.

But, I can tell you what friends have said that I have cherished: the extra hug that says, "you look beautiful", "The kids are so happy, don't worry", "This event was better just because we got to see your face", "I love seeing you on my couch, (and I don't care you are in PJ's)", "Jeff is always smiling with the kids", "I'm so touched you made it, thank you", "I've got this spot on the sofa for you and a blanket", or just the knowing smile that says, you rock Kathryn and I'm all in with you.

This post feels heavy handed, and I don't want it too... We all just want life to be normal again, but that may not be possible.  So this is what normal for me looks like today... 

It all can change in an instant... 

I heard this quote on the news, I wish I had the source; but it's too good not to share:

"Good things are coming, they are already planned for you!" 

Well alrighty then... Lets get to the getting...

More than any post I have written, I want your feedback... So please share your thoughts, your challenges with love ones or your experiences with chronic disease.

And please, feel free to share this post. Sometimes just pulling the curtain back and talking about the Elephant in the Room, helps us all...

Namaste (the divine in me, bows to the divine in you)

xo,

Kathryn

The P

ilgrimage Gal

photo credit:

David W. Siu

via

photopin

cc

If you would like to join me on this pilgrimage, filled with my bad spelling, self-invented grammar, and over all foolishness…  Click on the web version of this post and look for the “GET PILGRIMAGEGAL UPDATES VIA EMAIL” option at the top of the right border and enter your email address.

Solitude...

Search for Solitude...

photo credit: 

andywon

 via 

photopin

cc

What Solitude Brings…

This week has been busy, busy in that my Irish Prince was home for days with a bad virus. I've struggled for solitude; that place where you hear yourself and you make peace and find a place for the contemplative life.  

You see my mind has been clouded by life’s noises… The one that starts with worry, and stress and fatigue. The one that begins whenever my children get sick, really sick like a fever that stays 104 for 5 days sick... 

That makes it hard for me to hear my crystal clear voice. It puts me in mama bear mode; ferocious, warrior, and tireless for my children. But, this warrior state is also not sustainable… She has her limits and she may come and go quickly. 

So today, Monday, I sit showered, clean and worn down by the to-do list that has gathered dust for two weeks, time that my family needed my warrior side. But, she is now very weak from these battles and susceptible to attack.

In addition, I have also had to wage war on my own health lately, trying to “get-in” to the latest brilliant mind that can help me, the person who can hopefully unlock the mystery that my body continues to hide. The confounding medical issue these days is that finding the right doctor requires a warrior like mentality. Sometimes it really comes down to connections, who you know, who your doctor knows, who will stick their neck out for you… Will they confront colleagues for you and open the doors when someone may be slow to respond? 

And here is the dirty little secret of medicine; you have to be smart and tenacious to get great care. You have to engage, question, counter and argue for your health. And you may have never been weaker than you are when you do. 

I have an amazing allergist/immunologist; she is a brilliant doctor, a mother and wife. I wish she didn't have to be my doctor, because in another life, I think she would be one of my closest friends… She gets it… And will get in it… 

She comes from what some argue is the highest culture the world has ever seen; Persia. I think of her as a Queen, because when she enters the room she carries thousands of years of her exemplary culture in her. She is my warrior, she fights for me and that is why she is my Persian Queen.  

My Queen went to bat for me this week, calling the boys’ world of medicine out for not taking care of me. In her regal, calm but decisive way, she let my medical friends know they need to be in it…

Which leads me back to solitude; in English we see this word as dark and sometimes foreboding. But when you return to the Latin or “solus”, it means simply to be alone or single…

Which is what I’m seeking when I use the word solitude.  We all need moments of silence.  We have to carve out the time, create space in our life for a little alone time… Make room to listen. 

To hear our own heartbeat, to breath, to quiet our criticism of ourselves. 

When we turn off this world and connect with ourselves and our Creator, we truly find peace and a path for the future.

Peace be with you…