Your 2 am list:
I often wonder what other Gals worry about at 2am… When you run the life lists, how long and scary do they get? Some of my nearest and dearest lists are very scary indeed.
My childhood BFF was my sister in law, she was married to my older brother and he is a class A jerk, her list is looooong. And really well deserved. But, I love my brother, I mean I love him, it sucks to have a BFF who is wronged by a total A-hole and oh by the way that total A-hole is your bro. Nice!, thanks again for that bro. I would like to take a baseball bat to his car, but it would make me more tired, and I would have to explain to all the children why Auntie K/Mom is sooo much crazier than they ever thought….that would take too much time…. And the work to find a cute lawyer, and coming up with his code name (insert famous movie lawyers here)….and my 2am list is long enough, I don’t really have the time or energy to conduct felonies…
Usually my list is very simple…, I worry that I will die.
I’ve got a couple other things, the mental and physical health of the beauties, and Clive being sick/dying, and of course money, but the big one is me, that’s it. I won’t be here to teach the kids the life lessons they will need, that I won’t be here with Clive to grow old and watch the beauties fly from the nest…
That phrase, “life happens while you are busy making other plans” what an honest line… could anything be more true? I waited 10 years to get my shit together, before having kids only to find out I had turned on the magic switch to my body’s crazy. Should I have had them at 22?, would that have been smarter?, would I have been a better Mom? (or at least have more energy and have a body that wasn’t breaking down?).
I think not. I am a better woman at 41 than 22. Better wife and mother. I’m a great friend, I have learned to pass on many things; focus on the simple, time is really short, don’t sweat the small stuff. But, I still worry about what am I teaching them, what part of me will they carry into their future?...
I have a great friend who says her number one job is to simply, “Get her kids to heaven”. It is brilliant. Whatever you call your faith, it is true, you want your children to live with happiness, integrity, and truth. You want them to be good people.
Isn’t that the only thing we should really worry about at 2am?
Isn’t that more than enough?
Sleep well…