So let me get it out... I’m grumpy, agitated, irritated and feel miserable... How is that to start the journey... My health stinks and I’m scared, afraid, worried and nervous... There I said it... I go back to my awesome girl power team at NIH this week and get an update on where things are and I’m worried I’ll get answers and also worried I may leave without any...
I have new symptoms that NIH is concerned about, I have massive hair loss, Lifetime TV hair loss, like being in the shower and clumps fall out... Now I realize I can always count on some good hair extensions to rock the chic BH Housewives look... But, it is just another irritation in my life that no girl should have to live through.
As If I didn't win the lottery already, the sweating is so profound that I’m in a full body sweat from loading the breakfast bowls into the dishwasher.... Now that is just stupid, I was on my 4th outfit of the day by 10:30 one day this week. No girl should have to deal with that and I do sometimes have to shower again too.... There is no justice... I’m headed to Target to buy more white t-shirts and cozy pants, and bras.... Who needs expensive, when you change them 4 times a-day!
Soooooooo, that said my pain, the pounding headaches and body fatigue are so debilitating, it has been a soul crushing week... I don’t know how to describe the pain to folks who don’t suffer from it... I have given birth without drugs, while having blood clots in my lungs and nothing feels like this pain. The chest wall pain is so great it hurts to move, to hook a bra is just stupid, and to take deep breaths; well that is just not going on here.
When I told Clive about the hair loss and I was curled up in his t-shirt in bed and said, “Jeff, there is nothing left of me, everything is broken and I’m such a mess....”
And my Jeffrey just turned around and looked at me and said, “I didn’t marry you for the outside that is just the package, I married you for the inside...”
I know you are all jealous... Well that made me cry harder, and I told him to go do something stupid, so I can be mad and not love him so much....
Cause you can’t be in feel sorry for me mode when you have that talking to you. He is all that, all the time... He is the nicest guy on the planet and stupid easy to be married too....
So where do we go from here... We put band-aids on the blisters and we set out again in the morning to find answers and if you see me in Target buying 20 white t-shirts you will know why.
Stop and say hi...
May you find the light on the road as I walk ahead blazing the trail and making the fire. There we can sit, rest a while and talk about the Pilgrimage together. God Bless, and keep walking.
The Pilgrimage is nothing without you and your support.
Please know I pray for all of you ceaselessly.....xo Kathryn