So as the worst mother, in all of human time (I thought I should get the self-loathing over right from the start)… My children are experts on the Wii, that lovely device that keeps them zoned into another world when I am on the couch, vomiting and coughing.
The Type A part of me is once again arguing with my immune system. Therefore the Cyclosporine A, which is designed to quiet my body down is now causing more issues than assistance. So the bottom line is, I’m vomiting and suffering… and let’s be clear, vomiting for any reason other than college foolishness is no good.
I hold a doctorate in vomiting, can do it anywhere and at any time. I have done it in my kid’s school bathrooms, in the parking lot at pick-up, my kids hear my vomit cough and they come and go running. First Born (FB), is a dear, he runs to find me a trash can, bowl, vase, anything… he is so sweet; I know I have run him over more than once on the way to a sink or toilet… Mini A, well she just bolts and covers her ears like a dog during a thunderstorm…. I find her in hiding, after I manage to wash my face. The good news is she is going to respond well to the binge drinking talk…
But I digress, so Cyclosporine A or as I call it Psycho A, is designed to suppress your immune system and I have misbehaving Mast Cells which Psycho is supposed to calm down… the bad news for me is that these delinquent Mast Cells, not surprisingly hang out and belly up to the bar in my weakest places…. “Alex, I’ll take lungs and digestive tract issues for $1,000.“ Now here is the thing, it would be tolerable if all this vomiting biz was for a greater good… like Emily Blunt in the Devil Wears Prada, “ I’m one good stomach flu away from my goal weight”, but that is not what happens for me, I just get weak and my electrolytes get all fucked up and I feel miserable.
So back to the Wii, Mini A came up to me last week and asked how I was feeling. She was nipping around the edges because she didn’t like the way I looked. So I explained to her that I’m like the rechargeable batteries for the Wii remotes. When your remote batteries are dead, we take them out and put them in a charger. Some days it takes all day to charge them to green, some mornings we wake up to them being green because they charged while we slept, other mornings we wake up and they are still red. It is always a mystery. She loved it, so now when we wake up, she looks at me and says, “Mom what color are you?” And she understands that if I wake up red, it’s a day that is never gonna be green. Some days I wake up yellow, or a ½ tank and some days; I’ll be green all day. It was a great moment, a concept that she could understand, Mom as a battery.
If you scour the intranets (my mom called it that once and we use it behind her back). You can find some other examples to explain the depth of fatigue, beautiful ones like the spoon theory, but for my kids living with electronics, this explanation was perfect.
I love this for all my beautiful Moms. We all give everything we have, use this with your kids, they shouldn’t grow up thinking that you are super woman. You are human, a mere mortal… keep that in mind. God did make the 7th day for rest for a reason. Quite often we need that day to recharge, to get from red to green.
As for me, I’m delighted to have a moment that she will carry forever, how coo coo Mrs. Mommy (as she has taken to call me this week) works.
As for the vomiting, Harvard will be on deck in the morning to fix that problem, for now I’m just chillaxing, sipping some warm tea.
Namaste (the divine in me, bows to the divine in you) my friends….