Well Hello Pilgrims…
How are you holding up?
Have you found that in this time of uncertainty you are eating nothing but carbs?
Have you now resorted to eating baking chocolate because your candy supply is out?
Have you begun day drinking?
Are you concerned that divorce rates are going to increase?
And are you convinced, you will never again receive a Mother’s Day card that reads, “World’s Best Mother”?
You will find, absolutely no judgment here.
Lean-in, my friends… I’ve got you.
If you aren’t feeling these emotions, please go back to reorganizing your arts and crafts room and using your Peloton subscription…
You are dead to me.
Yes, I’m judging you… I am.
Well my fellow Pilgrims, this is my time to tell you, we will get through this. Are you afraid or even a little uncertain? Me too… We keep referring to this time as the zombie apocalypse in our house—just to relieve the stress. Because you know what? It is flipping stressful.
I have close friends in quarantine with their children. Their children are home after their study abroad programs were canceled. The programs they visited, are now in European hotspots. I know families who have loved ones who are seriously ill with this virus. I have friends who have lost a loved one… This is real for me. I am also one of the millions of Americans whose underlying health conditions put me at the top of the list for serious complications. My reality is serious… I could die if I get infected.
I too have listened to professionals who advise us to find a routine. Has that worked for you? I’m so happy to hear that it is working for so many. It is decidedly not working for me.
Why? I’ve been to this rodeo before.
I’ve done this social distancing thing, many times… There were periods when my health was so fragile, I didn’t leave the house for months. I left to go to the doctors and if I was strong enough to mass. School functions for the children were incredibly rare. My body was immunocompromised and one small germ would place me in the hospital. I carried around an oxygen tank as I pushed Norah in a stroller. My children would come home from school, change clothes and wash hands before I could hug them. They were tiny humans… up until Norah was in 3rd grade, this was our reality.
I think that is why it has been hard for me to settle in. I’ve known this uncertainty before. Once I realized that was what was making me stumble, I realized that I could finally take a deep breath and settle. I understood why I was so restless.
My question for you is… What is making you stumble?
For some, these are first world inconveniences… and they know it. But for others, this is a time of uncertainty with severe financial and medical hardships. I see you and while I can’t change those circumstances, please know I’m accompanying you, and you are in my ceaseless thoughts and prayers.
My faith is the cornerstone of my being. My physical, mental and emotional health depends on it. When I don’t tend to it… my Kathryn’ess can get a little wonky. I find that the mornings when I begin my day with a cup of tea and my daily readings, life is a little gentler...
Today, this little gem, Romans 4:16 was in my readings.
“All depends on faith, so that it may be a gift.”
You don’t have to be religious or even spiritual to take this passage to heart. At the beginning and end of each day, what do you have faith in? Who are the people in your circle of trust? What do you know to be true? When you strip down your life to the most basic elements, what do you have faith in? My fellow Pilgrims, these are the questions that we should focus our time and attention on. The answers to these questions help you focus your core. Your inner life.
Try as best as you can to avoid the, “Well I know what I don’t have faith in right now…”
Our inner life is the key tool to getting through this time. Who or what helps you drive that?
I’m sure like me you are taking walks in your neighborhood just to get out. The mental health experts say outside time is critical.
For many of us our daily and weekly religious practices have been put on hold. For many it’s our organizing principal. I’ve been forcing my family to watch daily spiritual reflections with me. One of my favorites is doing a Facebook Live each day at Noon. It feels like the priest is in our living room, while he is answering questions and praying with my family. This is one simple way I keep my community and prayer life connected and active. I can also live stream daily mass… another gift for me.
I’ve also been texting friends and doing overdue phone calls. I’m not much for Facetime, but I’m even getting better about that. Yesterday, Norah and I did a therapy session with our family therapist. Andrea has been in our life for three years. We adore her… I will be honest it took me a good 30 minutes to just settle into the technology. Our next session will be much easier. And by breaking the ice it opens me up for more Facetime chats! The Beauties have no problems with this tech. They are using it constantly within their friend groups. I find it a little strange. But I committed to embracing it. If we can’t physically be with our friends and family members, at least we will see their faces!
But more than anything else, I’m trying to be gentle with myself. I know tons of folks out there are getting major projects completed. Good on them. At the end of this time, I will not have completed writing my own version of War and Peace or even read Tolstoy.
I will have read a ton of sappy romance novels; I will have gotten to make a ton of overdue phone calls where I will laugh till I cry, and my heart will grow two sizes! I will have eaten a ton of carb heavy meals with my family where we argue about the greatest Broadway musicals, who is the original cinnamon roll (don’t ask) and what is Hugh Jackman’s greatest performance. I also will have spent hours watching Jane Austin movies on a loop and tortured my children with my ability to fail miserably at their video games. All of these moments are successes.
The greatest gift of this time, is that I have my children and Jeff all to myself— for better and for worse!!! What I’m delighting in is having three daily meals with my children. I haven’t had that privilege for years… I’m not competing for time with their busy schedules. They are home. I’ve got the time to listen, to hear their stories and ideas. Dinners are relaxed and not rushed. We are praying more as a family. I no longer need worry about drop-off, pick-up, and if Jeff is in town or out. The three most important people in the world are with me. Our morning routine isn’t a circus… People are sleeping in and happy. I can’t control any of this. Not one thing. What I can do is realize for a short or maybe a little longer time in 2020, I’m blessed to stop time… and be with them.
So, if as St. Paul reminds us, “All depends on faith, so that it may be a gift.” Then this is where I put my faith in these uncertain times and how I plan to navigate the path forward.
I look forward to hearing your plans.
The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you. xo, Kathryn