Intimacy...

Have you ever stopped to think about your understanding of a word as a youngster and how the meaning changes as you age?

That is exactly what I have been doing lately.

Intimacy is a word that has changed many times in my life. It went from an "intimate dinner for two" and then more recently, "they got intimate," to me stopping and considering, what is true intimacy? And for me it's not a violation of my marriage vows; I'm not talking about a salacious relationship. I'm discussing the ability to be open and honest with those you love.

I don't see intimacy tied to sex or physical contact. I see intimacy as one's ability to let down your guard and show yourself as you are; without artifice.

Jeff used to make a joke that our Beauties would never learn "stranger danger," because their mom will constantly strike up a conversation with random people on the street, in the doctor's office, at the store...

Regardless, in my life some of those strangers have shared their amazing truths.  I understand that I'm a little unique; one of my gifts is my openness to others. My family has learned the look I give when they need to wait. Because sometimes, I'm surprised what folks share. And sometimes, It stops me where I stand and I need to be present.  I need to take the time to listen.  You learn quickly how to compartmentalize certain truths, carry others, and most often let the feelings flow in and out of you. I would imagine that I'm open to more folks than many of you; and that is my choice.  What I'm offering, is that in creating greater intimacy in your life, you will indeed feel more love, more openness and more connection to the Divine than you can possibly imagine.

I ask you the question, "with whom are you intimate?"

And again, this isn't about your partner, or lover. It is more, it is larger, it is about those with whom you share your journey.

I have a series of questions that I ask the people I love. It gives me a chance to take their emotional pulse. I learned from one of my closest friends, my Hawaiian Beauty, that I'm the only person who asks her about her spirit. I was stunned. She went on to ask me, "Well who asks you about your spirit?"

How are you at your core? With what are you wrestling? Where you are on your journey? What is your barrier to sustained happiness?

How's your spirit?; is just one of a handful of questions I ask. That way I know where I'm meeting the people I love. In addition to the spirit question, I often ask, what is currently your biggest challenge? What is keeping you up at night?

I spent last week back in Maryland and my entire week was filled with lunch and coffee dates, asking people in my circle that question. Each friend has a different faith life, each has unique challenges and joys, each feeds me in a uniquely, beautifully and dynamic way. From my week at "home" I also now know what texts to send to check-in, who I need to call or contact more frequently. Because I now have a baseline, I know where they are and they me. It is what makes my life so big, beautiful and filled. I feel in my soul LOVE daily from the individuals who make up my world.

So my question to you: Why is it that as spiritual beings we don't ask these question more often?

The answer is simple. We don't take the time. We aren't always as present as we believe. We are texting, talking on the phone, answering emails. We are lost in our own attachments; longing for relationships that yield truth and intimacy. But do we ever take the time to ask something more profound? We are too busy asking the pedestrian: Hows the weather, the kids or the job?  We don't take the time to dig deeper.

Do we honestly want to know the truth?

Have you ever noticed that we are paralyzed by our own activity?

That is the real question of intimacy. With whom are you asking the personal questions?

Are you willing to? Are you willing to answer truthfully, when someone asks you?

It means digging a little deeper, pausing a little longer... being intimate...

Often people tell me, "Kathryn, I don't want to intrude?" I can honestly say that when you lead with your heart; people tell you their boundaries. And often those boundaries are not where you think. My marching orders are simple, "Lean-in" as Sheryl Sandberg coined the term, but I define it differently.

Lean-in to love, to connection, to your intimate community. The richness, the beauty and the love is waiting. And in this love you will find yourself closer to the Divine.

I lovingly wait to hear of your success.

As always I love walking with each and every one of you. I'm a better mother, wife, daughter, sister and intimate friend because of your gifts and talents.

Namaste.

Kathryn

PilgrimageGal

Thank you for walking with me this week and always. I do use social media to keep in touch. You are welcome to find me on

Facebook

,

Instagram

or comment below. I personally answer all my correspondence... and I'm always glad to meet another traveler. xo

Photo Credit: PilgrimageGal