PilgrimageGal Note:
I realize for many of my non-Catholic friends this post and some of my others are very “religiousy” and for some of you it’s hard to relate... If you would indulge me, I encourage you to substitute Christ for your interpretation of a greater power, however that speaks to you. I also use the word “HE” as the pronoun for God. That is really a misnomer, I see God as neither male or female, but
succumb
to years of Catholic education in which we referred to God as “HIM”. To be honest it's just easier to use one consistent choice when I write... My true goal of this post is to remind ourselves that God is with us in ways big and small and to be open to that path.
xo,
Kathryn
Do you ever have th
at moment when can’t find your keys... You go looking all over... Searching... Turning over your couch cushions, dumping your purse, only to go back to the place you started and there they are... In our blindness, we just can’t see what is right in front of us...
I have a wise teacher and special friend who aids me with my blindness... I love when we gather and sit on her back deck, it’s a stillness my spirit knows only with her... We have a short hand together, she sees me and sees through me... Her wisdom, her brilliance, is in fact Christ working in her and I see that as her Gift of the Spirit. While standing in the kitchen today, she showed me a tile, an image from Emmaus. When we parted, always with a hug and a kiss, I recognize that I’m leaving part of me, and taking part of her with me... She always tells me to “go gently.” As I drove-off, I realized that I have been walking toward Emmaus... Emmaus was the lesson I have been searching for....
Luke 24:24-30:
When he was at the table with them, he took bread, gave thanks,
broke it
and began to give it to them.
Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him,
and he disappeared from their sight.
For those of you who need a little Emmaus refresher... It’s the road that Christ appeared to two of his disciples after the Resurrection. Some say it’s the afternoon after the girls recognized the tomb was empty. The boys were walking with Christ for some time and only after they stopped, broke bread and chillaxed, did they realize that it was in fact the risen Christ. They walked with him for years, talked with him for years and broke bread with him for years... But, this time they missed it... They never really saw Him... They had a spiritual blindness...
I think as people of the Spirit, we all want to be Paul and have this super-star conversion experience... (Paul, formerly known as Saul, was widely known to have persecuted Jews and followers of Christ as a Roman soldier. It was only while traveling on horseback that he was blinded by a bright light and heard a voice from the light telling him to stop slaughtering God’s people. And from then on, he was known as Paul and one of our most beloved writers and evangelists.)
We are all screaming for the bright light, the drama of falling off our horse, being blinded by God.
But in fact, most of us are on the road to Emmaus... We are all walking with Christ all the time, but it’s only when we sit down, take a break from the journey, have a bite to eat, do we realize we were walking with HIM the whole time.
For some reason, we think that we are not special, precious, beloved. That scores of others are more special, more talented, richer and more successful... That we
aren't
enough... But, that is where we all fall short. Because we fail to see that each and everyone of us has a unique gift, a special purpose and no two are the same. While it may seem insignificant to us, without it, none of us would succeed... We are all interdependent.
That is why faith is so hard for so many... They can’t see it’s simplicity...
Faith is actually very, very quiet... You have to slow down to see, to be present in it. Faith is quiet and simple. We try so hard to complicate it, to make it more than it is...
It’s not sitting in a Church being told that we are sinners. For most of us, beating ourselves up is as easy as pouring a cup of coffee in the morning. No, finding Christ is looking in the mirror and seeing Him in you.
You are the gift. You are HIS beloved, with whom HE is well pleased.
We are all so busy we fail to see that our Gifts are the smile on the elevator, the thanks for making my appointment easier, in my case the skilled phlebotomist who doesn’t tear my arm off drawing blood. That is where I meet Christ. Sadly, I don’t always meet him in my Church lately, with a bureaucracy that is too large and constantly on the defensive... I think Jesus would be turning over more than a few tables if he walked in...
I see the goodness of God all around me... It’s not hard, but it does require you to open yourself up to vulnerability.
If you open yourself up to whatever you call God, you will find that HE is at work... In your coffee shop, at the store, or wherever you are... See who Christ has put in your life... Each person is designed to be a partner in some aspect of your journey... Every lesson, every person fills a part; each interaction is a piece of your mosaic, a tile of your life, like the one in my friends kitchen...
When I look back on the people and places that have left and still leave the most lasting impression on me... It’s what they saw in me, what they taught me... about myself, that has shaped and guided me to today. My Spirit, is on all the time, it’s what propels me even in the darkest of times. Without the journey, with out the steps, this life would have taken me somewhere else...
I understand now, that different road would not have been for the better... I’m learning, more in this brokenness, in the despair that my health has caused me, in the darkness I have learned, that I have grown into the woman, I’m called to be... I have learned that none of us are ever full... We are always searching for the need to feel satisfied. To be full, less hungry, and only when this happens will we be content, happy and fulfilled....
Of course, that will never be, we are in a broken world that can never fill us up... We are here to learn and survive. It is a type of boot camp of the Spirit... Many of the saints were hungry sinful folks. They are the first to admit it, St. Teresa of Avila was sick most of her life, in bed or writing, she was never filled... The list is long... Sick, hungry, searching...
The reason so many of us struggle and yearn to be filled, is that we have moments of the Divine... We can see it, touch it, feel it, but it is fleeting...
When we feel the light on our face, get the good nights rest, enjoy that one great picnic, feel the complete love of our partner, the moment of delight with our kids...
For me, one of those moments is sitting down on Thanksgiving, when we all look beautiful, Jeff has made this amazing feast and I see who has voyaged to our home to break bread with us... I feel the Divine, my Jeffrey looks at me and he gives me his smile that says, I did this for you, he would rather have had a pizza in his pjs with a bourbon and football... But, he did it for me...
We get tastes of it and we are all greedy for more... Just like Saul... If we are truly honest, we realize that the type of fulfillment we want is only with Faith.... The only thing that is sustaining and everlasting.
That is truly why so few of us see that the story of the road to Emmaus, is really about all of us...
All of us are blinded to a Christ, that is simply, quietly, profoundly working in our life...
May your eyes be open on your journey to Emmaus...
Kathryn
PilgrimageGal
photo credit:
via