Following the right path...
Pilgrimage Gals's guide and day to day tips on managing chronic disease.
Friday was a PJ day… I try to make time for days of rest. And that also means, I don’t beat myself up about it. I accept it.
Acceptance makes everything easier....on my mind, body, spirit. I didn’t do too much today… I mean I did nothing… My accomplishments: brushed teeth, took my meds, kissed my family good-bye or should I say they kissed me! With my cup of Irish breakfast tea, I curled back into my bed. After my lovely nap, I had a bite to eat, and changed my clothes...a t-shirt with a cozy sweater to keep me warm. My bra got a day off too, thanks inpart to my famous cough, for making my ribs so painful my whole body ached. My beauties (children) got home at 3, they were happy to see me clean and awake as I handed out Friday afterschool treats…
I have a very wise advisor in my life, and she told me, “Kathryn, you are a tough one, you have a very high pain threshold, a very high depression threshold, a very high anxiety threshold… So when you start to feel those feelings, you need to pay very close attention.”
That means in my world, if those thoughts and feelings are moving in, a HUGE warning light is going off… The reactor is overheating, so when I feel that stress on my body, it means I need to slow the heck down. When the reactor light is flashing, and the alarms in my body are going off, I need to quickly shut it all down, batten down the hatches, maybe even raise the white flag and call for reinforcements (
)…
I volunteer for an auction committee for my kid’s school. Every other year, we have a big Gala Night, where we get dressed-up and raise money. Being on the committee, I work all along leading up to the big night. But the morning of the event, I’m at home watching tv, and the day after, I’m home in pjs. I can’t help with set-up and tear down. But I’m way up front at the committee meetings, I say flat out what I can’t do, followed by what I will do. And I don’t feel bad at all about not helping, because I have done my part. And yes, I’m the only one on the committee who is not there the day before and after… But, I’m a part of the team, I contribute. Never has anyone said anything, but good stuff about my team work… I make my abilities speak for what I can do, not for what my body can’t.
In a former life, I worked for Starbucks Coffee in Seattle as a Project Manager for most of the products sold at retail. I managed the timelines for the production of: coffee bags, packaged foods, CDs of music, shopping bags, the coffee cups you drink out of every day; and so much more… It was my job to make sure artwork got delivered on time so the product made delivery deadlines… It was the perfect job for an over achieving type A in her 20’s. But the most important lesson I learned, whether talking to senior executives or vendors, is to manage expectations, never overpromise, and if you do, have a really good back-up plan.
Now remember, calamities occur, we are all imperfect, but this biz strategy has helped me more than once or twice in the last few years as my personal health issues became way more complicated than a Starbucks product roll out…
You see, I have learned how to manage the unmanageable. And that is by no means a small task. My business experience, my life as a mother and all around busy girlness, have helped me come up with this road map… Hopefully some of them work for you…
So here is my checklist. My strategy for getting through a week, fighting the good fight.
1. Every Sunday night look at your planned activities for the week; and decide which are critical and which are not.
For example, scheduled doctor’s appointment, school field trip, therapy session, grocery store run, planned dinners for the week, lunch with friends, kids’ activities.
Not everything has the same value. And it is highly likely that you cannot do everything on that list. You must pick ONE thing as the most important. And you don’t get to change the activity after you have accomplished it. It is the key to success for the week. Now here is the thing, only you can decide, not your kids, not your beloved, not your parents… You must own this choice. Maybe it’s going on the field-trip, maybe it’s the lunch or probably it’s the doctor appointment. You are in control of the choice. I also have a very strict rule in my house about the weekend. I can only commit to one social event on a weekend. Meaning I can’t do dinner out on Friday night and then do a Saturday antiquing trip with my girls. I have to pick one or the other. My body is not in the shape to do multiple events on a weekend. And in keeping this schedule, you have to be honest with your body, about its strengths and limitations.
2. Plan for at least two unexpected “surprises”, a sick child, a fun unplanned lunch, spouse working late.
Life will always intrude and be more complicated than you expect. So leave room in your schedule and your energy reserve to handle these surprises.
3. Plan for mandatory rest periods.
If I have a doctor appointment, pick-up new meds, and hit the grocery store. My afternoon better be on the couch, with nothing planned till the kids get home. And that means feet-up, blanket-out, and pillow ready. Relaxing… No laundry, no calls, no social media… Nothing, but rest.
4. Schedule in something nice for yourself everyday.
Maybe it’s a warm bath, or swim at the pool, or a long walk, reading a book, or getting your nails done, or watching that special tv show, picking up flowers while at the store as a reward for a successful day. Some little thing that makes you feel special, beautiful, nurtured, loved… Something you do to care for yourself.
5. Make time for your spiritual journey DAILY.
This is as important as taking your meds, or going to the doctor. As you all know, I’m Catholic so for me that is prayer and Mass. But in addition, it is listening to music, meditation, reading a faith based book or scripture, writing in a journal, doing yoga, taking a walk in nature, attending my prayer group. I also receive daily emails from faith blogs that I follow, they always have a question that I can reflect on during my day or in prayer.
Any avenue in which you are open to seeking the divine. It is different for everyone, talk to the girls in my prayer group and you will get as many different answers as girls in the room. My Flower Girl, does the flowers for our church, which is its own kind of prayer.
6. Take time to eat well and exercise.
I have a love affair with sugar; it’s my dirty little secret. When I eat too much, I feel sick. When I eat clean and fresh with little to no processed foods, I feel better. I have been gluten free for 7 yrs. I don’t have celiac, but I’m sure that I have a sensitivity. As for exercise, that is really hard for me. My issues make it very hard to exercise right now. I try to do my best, yoga, walking when I can. Just try to move… Every good choice helps…
7. Don’t ever lie to yourself.
That is a huge one for all of us… Folks who fight chronic disease are warriors, we fight every single day, we keep the world running for our family, and friends… We are tough… So you may lie to others about how you are, but don’t lie to yourself. Take care of you, your soul, your mind, your broken body... That is the only way to stay strong for everyone else…
This was a different kind of post for me… I hope everyone can find a little gem to take away for their own life… Some of these items need whole posts just for them… But it’s a start.
What’s on your list?
Namaste... The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you...
Kathryn
Pilgriamgegal
photo credit:
via
If you would like to join me on this pilgrimage, filled with my bad spelling, self-invented grammar, and over all foolishness… Click on the web version of this post and look for the “GET PILGRIMAGEGAL UPDATES VIA EMAIL” option at the top of the right border and enter your email address.