The Recipe for Happiness…Oxygen masks included…

I have been asked the same question, quite a bit lately, "how do you stay positive?" I have had lifelong friends, newer friends and professionals (educators and folks who provide medical, spiritual and therapeutic support) ask me the same. Well it’s a recipe… and one I’m happy to share. But spoiler alert, I have never, ever, ever walked alone… and I don’t mean just in my spiritual journey. Seriously, you don’t survive a bar fight without your wing man, and I have lots of great wing men!

First, a little background on the week; Friday was insane, my Clive Owen look alike, Jeffrey and I had an important appointment yesterday. We have been working to make school and life easier for our beautiful, Irish Prince, Ian. My Prince of Ireland, his view of the world is very different. As parents, they need us to be their champions. And when I say champion, I mean that it’s your job to surround them with the brightest, most loving people each and every day. And it’s so easy when you meet the blue eyed, Wonder Woman that is leading the effort to help us understand how our Ian's brain works… Life is so much easier when your co-collaborators are better people than you are!

But my Mini-A (MA) in training, Norah, had to throw us a curve, she woke up yesterday, barking like a seal and refusing to change out of her PJs. Now for my Princess to punt on school; is like the guy running your Super Bowl pool, turning down a paid First Class Ticket to New Orleans. It’s just not happening… So MA curled up on the couch and rubbed her snotty nose on me, and we snuggled…

Meanwhile, I’m in panic mode, we have this meeting, I need to find soft places for both my peeps to land, my main squeeze has obligations next week that are taxing, my plan for that fell through and its 8 am, and I’m stressssssed… Not good, and not good for the girl with the taxed immune system..

So out of my Magic Bag, I pull my trusty iPhone and two texts later, I’m totally covered. MA, will hang with the Superstar of the babysitting world! Irish Prince is hanging with Flower Girl. Across the street, I have three of the best babysitters in the whole world, the eldest had the nerve to leave for college, her two younger sisters are in high school and middle school, respectively. The "Girls" and their parents, save us from catastrophe daily, and in exchange, I always have the stick of butter and the food processor to lend… So my girlfriend, code name Sunshine, because when you talk to her you feel the sun shine warm on your face, fortunately for me, is working at home, and has my back… Sunshine has been in my room in the middle of the night for one bit of foolishness or another too many times to count…

So after a few phone calls, turns out, she says the best line ever. I tell her I’m in panic mode, she laughed and said, no it is just, “Ferguson Life”. A life that is “serious crazy all at once”, a sick child, a very important meeting, stupid new medicine side-effects (that need immediate attention), serious cold attacks inside, not to mention the walking to the car in 20 degree temperatures, and covering the husband obligations; so when my Sunshine Girl said, “Ferguson Life”, I burst out laughing, like tears in my eyes laughing, meanwhile, snow changes school schedules, and life is still moving, really much too, fast… But, I just laughed, because it is our life…all at once the joy and the pain…

So I promised the recipe, what does it look like? It's really simple… It's equal parts Faith, Hope and Love… as Catholics we call it the Theological Virtues. It is so simple…

I have been blessed with the faith to move mountains…not sure why, but I do. But, I also have an unwavering faith in others. Faith that my people are going to carry me, as I try to carry them, that the teachers who care for my kids, love because… I love them… seriously, why would you be an educator if you don’t love…

That the world is a loving place, that good people are so much busier doing good than bad…That while life is really, really hard, you can’t get anywhere without a community, whatever that looks like for you.

I look at my doctors and I demand the absolute best of the best from them, I’m way tougher than any Attending ever was... I won’t let anyone who cares for me phone it in. I call them on stuff. But, when Harvard or Hopkins or any of my team tells me I’m wrong, really wrong… I listen, I trust, I really trust, because, I have faith in my choices, and that leading with an open heart means you trust and put your life in those choices… When you view the world that people are really, really good… It makes trusting others a whole lot easier….

Now listen, I'm no Saint… I have cut people out, closed the door, seriously, I've slammed the door on a few…but that’s on the people who have failed to follow the recipe. I can’t surround my heart with the people who lie, who don’t lean with hope, who don’t strive for happiness… Some of these people are close, very close and it hurts…. I had to protect my family, my core, but life is about the oxygen mask….

On the plane when the air pressure drops and your life has value, put the mask on yourself, your nearest and dearest, and then you can care for others, but the comforting part is that often, it’s others who are putting the mask on you…

And that’s why I try, really try to follow the recipe, to do that every day… you can’t walk alone, you need equal parts faith, hope, and love… try it, you will be surprised how joyful the world looks from this beach…. And my beach is going to be in Hawaii, where my friends and I will start a colony, where we will love and care for each other… it’s just a dream of course… but miracles do happen… they really do... I see it every day…

May you find your miracle of Hope, Faith and Love in the world today and always…

xo, Kathryn

PS…..If you want to walk this journey with me on a weekly basis… the horrible spelling, bad grammar, and punctuation… the crazy of the pilgrimage of this gal…. type your email in above…and I will magically pop-up in your inbox…. and your comments, are the best thing going… I love to hear from all of you…. K